


LOVE, YOUR IDEAL MAN

by poalimal



Series: ★ summer love ★ [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Binary Thinking, Chirping, Drabble, First Time, Flirting, Future Fic, M/M, Unwilling Laughter, Very Willing Other Stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 22:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15471669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poalimal/pseuds/poalimal
Summary: Justin is tired of dating all the wrong men. Adam's tired of it, too.





	LOVE, YOUR IDEAL MAN

 

Justin used to believe in love; these days he believes in routine. Comfort. A man who picks up toilet paper on the way home without being asked.

Holster lifts his head off of the pillow on Justin's stomach and stares. 'Really,' he says flatly. 'Toilet paper. That's all it takes?'

'Let's see, you're thinking ahead,' Justin silently counts-off on his fingers, 'you're thinking ahead of someone other than yourself, you're thinking ahead of someone other than yourself and anticipating their needs, you're thinking ahead of someone other than yourself and anticipating their needs, by your own choice.'

Holster blinks. 'Wow, Rans,' he says. 'Your ideal man sounds real selfless. So... what's he doing while you're crying over a roll of toilet paper? Shitting in the woods? Real down-to-earth guy, huh.'

Justin mashes his mouth up so he won't laugh. 'You're not,' he struggles, ' _funny_ , Adam, shut up.'

'I'm not?' Holster says, smile widening. 'Ah, well - guess it's a good thing your ideal man only needs a roll of toilet paper, not a sense of humour. Gimme your keys and half an hour and I'll be good to go.'

'Will you be funnier in half an hour?' Justin chirps.

'Hm, unlikely,' says Holster, thoughtfully, settling back in on his pillow. _Justin's_ pillow. Which he _stole_. 'For how doth one improve upon perfection itself?'  
  
'Wow, that's a good question, Holtzy, nice and philosophical,' says Justin, stroking the top of Holster's head, 'what's that got to do with your bad jokes?'

'I have made... you squirt soda... out of your nostrils... on no less than five... separate occasions,' says Holster, slowed out and slurry. 'Do not... test me, Rans.' Justin scritches Holster's scalp very carefully, near his ears. Holster breathes out all at once, slumping even more deeply against him, the weight of him heavy and warm all along Justin's body. Ah, fuck it. No need for them to go to the movies today. They'll stay in. They deserve it.

'You can only make me squirt but so many times,' Justin mumbles mindlessly, eyes slipping closed. 'Soda, I mean. Squirt soda.' What are they even talking about anymore?

Holster chuckles warmly. 'Give me half an hour, Rans,' he says again, 'I'll make you laugh, come, cry, whatever. A good time will be had by all.'

Holster is not as funny as he thinks. 'Mm,' says Justin, half-sarcastic, 'yea, ok.'

Adam sits up; leans down over him; and kisses him.

Justin grabs him by the back of the head and kisses him back, hard. 'Fuck,' he says, trying to catch his breath, 'you were serious?' Trust Adam to choose today of all random fucking days to actually hear Justin when he flirts back!

Holster gives him this sweet mocking look, and kisses him till he's nearly rutting in place. 'C'mon, Rans,' Holster says, sucking down on the thick of his neck. 'Would I joke about fucking you till you cry?'

'Uhh, maybe you should!' Justin says, strangled, trying to still his hips. 'I am 100% in favour of that idea.'

'Aw, babe,' says Holster, yanking off his shirt. He grins. 'It's not funny if it's true.'

 

* * *

 

The next day, Justin comes home at lunch to find a veritable pyramid of toilet paper sitting in their living room. _DON'T SAY I NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR YOU_ , reads the accompanying note, _LOVE, YOUR IDEAL MAN_. Justin laughs until he cries.

 


End file.
